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Sunday, 30 November 2014

Bertrand Russell

"There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it."

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George Orwell

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

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Howard Dietz

"I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism."

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Dorothy Parker

"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."

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Edgard Varese

"Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes."

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"A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers."

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Little Girl Cuddles With Her Cow After Letting It Into Her House And It's Oddly Adorable

Who knew cows were so cuddly?

Five-year-old Brennan Decker probably shouldn't have let her baby cow into the house, but thank goodness she did, because otherwise we wouldn't be able to witness this adorable moment:

The video was uploaded back in April, but is just starting to go viral.

Billie jo decker / Via youtube.com

Luckily for little miss Brennan, once her mom saw the love between cow and girl, it was impossible to be mad.

Luckily for little miss Brennan, once her mom saw the love between cow and girl, it was impossible to be mad.

Billie jo decker / Via youtube.com

Looks like we have a Doctor Dolittle in the making! <3333

Looks like we have a Doctor Dolittle in the making! &lt;3333

Billie jo decker / Via youtube.com

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How to Wear a Fascinator

A fascinator is a hair accessory often worn at British formal events. It is a style of millinery that can be small or large and is often made with feathers, wool or straw.[1] If you are thinking of testing this style at an event, follow fascinator etiquette and try on several styles ahead of time. The day of the event, backcomb your hair and secure it firmly in place before you step out the door.


Learning Fascinator Etiquette

  1. Make sure your fascinator is event-appropriate. A formal or semi-formal event are best for a medium to large fascinator. Casual events work better with a clip or headband fascinator.

  2. Keep photos in mind. If you are going to be in a lot of group photos, a hat or large fascinator will cover up other people. It’s rude to wear an oversized piece in group photos.

  3. Judge the size of your fascinator by your importance to an event. For example, a mother of the bride should have the largest hat or fascinator at a wedding. Even the mother of the groom should tone down the size for the occasion.[2]

    • If you are a guest who doesn’t have a big connection to the reason for the event, wearing a large fascinator might look like a cry for attention. In this case, less is more.

  4. Ask the organizer, when in doubt. If you aren’t sure if a fascinator will look out of place, you should check with the person in charge. By wearing a fascinator in an unusual place, you are making the decision to stand out in a crowd.

  5. Choose the fabric based on the season. Felt hats are best for fall or winter events. Straw is ideal for a summer event.

    • Most fascinators are constructed to be lightweight so that they are comfortable in any weather.

  6. Beware of fascinators with an elastic band that holds it in place. This is often seen as a big fashion faux-pas, equivalent to showing your bra straps.[3]

Picking an Attractive Fascinator

  1. Go to a hat shop or accessories store and test out fascinator sizes. The following are types of headwear that you should try out:

    • A barrette fascinator. Secured with a sectional clip or a spring clip, this fascinator is an accent to a fancy hairstyle. It can secure your part, clip next to a bun or attach at the base of a braid.

    • A headband fascinator is attached to a slim metal or cloth band that goes around the top of your head; the feathers, flowers or other material usually sits halfway between the ear and the top of the head on either side.

    • A comb fascinator is a crafted accessory that slides into a hairstyle with a metal or plastic comb. The comb embeds itself under the hair so that it is not noticeable.

    • A mini-hat, or cocktail hat, can be a small version of a hat, a small curved piece of felt or straw, or it can be every bit as big as a hat. It is usually secured by an elastic band or a comb.[4]

  2. Choose a comb or barrette fascinator if you want to do an elaborate hairstyle. Ask the stylist to place it in your hair, so that it can be done without ruining the style.

  3. Opt for a larger headband or mini-hat if you want to wear your hair down.

  4. Make your fascinator commensurate with the size of your hair. Sleek hair is better with a small accessory. Thick, coarse or frizzy hair looks better with a larger fascinator, because it doesn’t get lost in the hair.

    • Comb and clip fascinators do not always work with slick, straight hair. Test it ahead of time or opt for a headband fascinator in this case.

  5. Choose traditional materials, like feathers, lace or flowers over rhinestones. Try simple shapes and designs before you try elaborate color combinations and patterns.

Wearing a Fascinator

  1. Practice putting your fascinator on well before the event. You will need to know how your hair needs to be prepped before you wear it.

  2. Don’t wash your hair the day of the event. Like hairstyles, dirty hair holds pins and grips better than freshly washed hair.[5]

  3. Backcomb your hair in the area where you will wear the fascinator. If you are going to wear a hat, backcomb the entire area under it to give your hair volume from the roots. Follow these instructions to back comb.

    • Comb out your hair and part it how you want it to stay. If you have straight hair, consider using a texturizing spray for added grip.

    • Take a fine-toothed comb with a pick on it and separate a one-half inch (0.6cm) section of hair close to the part.

    • Hold the section straight up from your head and create tension by pulling lightly up. Tease the hair down with a teasing brush or a natural bristled brush, starting from the roots and working your way up halfway up the section of hair.

    • Set your hair back to the other side or toward the back of your hair and clip it lightly into place with a section clip.

    • Repeat in one-half inch sections until the entire area is backcombed and voluminous.

  4. Smooth your hair into place and style it. Curl your hair after you backcomb it so that the curls have volume. Spray volumizing hair spray on your hair and let it dry.

  5. Set your fascinator gently against your head while you look in the mirror. Decide the exact placement that you want. Pin the rest of your hair into place so that it is set before the fascinator is placed in its final position.

  6. Dig the comb into your hair or clip it. Aim to get as much hair gathered into the clip as necessary to keep it in place. The backcombing should help it catch against the hair.

  7. Add extra bobby pins if you can. Straw or lace fascinators will often allow a thin pin to slip through and secure it in a different area.

  8. Adjust the hair around the fascinator. Spray it lightly with hairspray to complete the look.


  • Be brave when wearing a fascinator. America and other countries have embraced the new style, but it is always a fashion statement.

  • Look at pictures of fascinators on Pinterest before you buy one. You will reduce your chances of buying a model that doesn’t match your style or hair type.

Things You'll Need

  • Hair pick

  • Natural bristled brush

  • Teasing brush

  • Bobby pins

  • Section pins

  • Volumizing hair spray

  • Mirror

Sources and Citations

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from How to of the Day http://www.wikihow.com/Wear-a-Fascinator

via Peter

How to Make a Sandwich

A sandwich is a quick and tasty way to make a meal. It can make a great lunch or breakfast, and can either be served either hot or cold. Below you'll find a general primer on how sandwiches work, as well as recipes and ideas for assembling your own. Just get started with Step 1 below!


Sandwich Basics

  1. Choose a bread. There are lots of different styles of bread that "whole grain" instead of "multi grain" if you're trying to eat healthy, since multi grain has no nutritional benefits beyond normal bread. You can consider some of the following styles of breads:

    • Sliced breads are the norm in most Western grocery stores and these are what is used to make most "standard" sandwiches, like peanut butter and jelly. You can get this bread made from many different ingredients (rye, potato, white, wheat, etc), and the different flavors will go better with some sandwiches than others.

    • Loaf breads are basically sliced breads that haven't been cut yet, but get used in much the same way. This bread is usually fresher and cut thicker than normal sliced bread.

    • Buns are small round or oval loaves that get cut in half to make the sandwich. This is common with hamburgers or Brioche sandwiches, but you can also use things like pretzel buns.

    • Raised flat breads include breads like focaccia bread or panini. These have a similar texture to pizza dough or true flat breads but are thicker, which means they can be sliced to create a true sandwich.

    • Flat breads include things like pita bread, naan, and tortillas. These do not make a true sandwich but instead make wraps or are cut in half and stuffed between the natural bread layers.

  2. Choose your condiments. Condiments are meant to make the bread more moist. They aren't required, but they can really add to the flavor and texture of the food. When placed on the bread, the condiment should be spread as close to the edge of the bread as possible, making sure the bread is fully covered. Some condiments include:

    • Butter

    • Mayo

    • Mustard

    • Ketchup

    • Pesto

    • Barbecue Sauce

    • Hollandaise

  3. Choose your fillings. Different sandwiches will include different things between the bread layers. This is where you can really get creative! Usually what's inside the sandwich determines which meal it's "appropriate" for, but don't let this stop you: if you want a bacon-and-egg sandwich for dinner, go for it! Fillings come in a few categories:

    • Meats like deli meat, sausage patties, loose meat (usually ground and in a sauce), or chicken breast.

    • Vegetables like salad leaves, stir-fry vegetables, sliced tomatoes, sliced onions, etc.

    • Cheese, which is generally always sliced for ease of use, though some cheese may be crumbled (like blue cheese). Good sandwich cheeses include swiss, muenster, brie, gouda, pepperjack, or cheddar.

    • Other items like egg salad, fried eggs, chili, peanut butter, jelly, marmite, and nutella.

  4. Eat the sandwich cold. You can assemble the sandwich by layering the ingredients between the two pieces of bread and simply eating it cold, if you want to. This is common with lunch sandwiches.

  5. Cook the sandwich. Cooking of sandwiches or hot sandwiches are more common with breakfast and dinner. You should never cook a sandwich in a microwave, as this will steam the bread and make it soggy. However, there are several good ways that you can cook a sandwich or heat it up:

    • You can use a frying pan or griddle. This is most common with sandwiches like grilled cheese. When doing it this way, you should cover the bread that will be touching the pan with butter or mayonnaise and then cook the sandwich over low heat until the cheese melts, switching to high heat towards the end to brown the bread if it is not already. Don't forget to flip it!

    • You can use a broiler, which most modern stoves have. This is the drawer under the stove and is usually turned on with a special knob. It gets very hot! Put the sandwich on a pan and place in under the pre-heated broiler for about 5 minutes a side. Check is frequently to make sure it doesn't burn. This is closest to how sandwich shops (like Subway) cook their sandwiches.

    • You can use a panini grill, which is basically just a George Foreman grill (for the American crowd). This grill gets sprayed with cooking spray and then the sandwich gets pressed between the layers of the grill for about 3 minutes.

    • You can use a BBQ to cook a sandwich. Aside from the obvious prep of a burger, you can also put other kinds of sandwiches on a grill whole. However, the flames will have to be low or you will likely burn your sandwich.

Sandwich Ideas

  1. Make breakfast sandwiches. Breakfast sandwiches are usually served hot, but don't feel like you can't eat them cold! Some breakfast sandwiches you can make include:

    • Fried egg and ham sandwich with butter

    • Sausage and egg sandwich with hollandaise

    • Bacon and cheese sandwich with mayo

    • Tomato and cheese sandwich with pesto

  2. Make lunch and dinner sandwiches. Lunch sandwiches are usually cold, while dinner sandwiches are usually hot, but you don't need to follow those rules! These include sandwiches like:

    • BLT, which is bacon, lettuce, and tomato with mayo

    • Reuben, which is sauerkraut, mustard or Russian dressing, corned beef, and swiss cheese

    • Sloppy Joe, which is ground beef mixed with tomato paste and seasoning

    • Italian sandwich, which is salami and similar meats, with mayo, lettuce and tomato

    • Meatball sub which is meatballs and red sauce, covered in Parmesan cheese.

    • Tunafish sandwich, which is canned tuna mixed with mayonnaise, mustard, onions and pickles

  3. Make unusual sandwiches. These include sandwiches like:

    • Sundried tomato, garlic, spinach, and pepperjack cheese on rye bread

    • Apple, chicken, and brie burrito

    • French toast, egg, and bacon sandwich, using the french toast as the bread.

    • Brie, raspberry, and Nutella on a brioche bun

  4. Make regional sandwiches. For the US, these include sandwiches like:

    • Po Boy, common in the South, which is made with fried shrimp or oysters, lettuce, tomato, pickles, and sauce

    • Avocado, cream cheese, and salmon are common sandwich ingredients in the Pacific Northwest and West Coast of the US

    • Pork Tenderloin sandwiches are common in the Midwest

    • Bagel and Lox sandwiches are common in the East


  • Always be hygienic when preparing food, and remember there are a lot of nasty stomach bugs out there. Wash your hands before starting.

  • To decorate the sandwich a bit, take a toothpick with an olive attached on top and put the toothpick through the top of the sandwich.

  • Make sure always use good (unspoiled) food or you might get sick.

  • Try slicing your sandwich in different ways, such as in half the long way, or vertically, or cut it into four little slices.

  • Make a flower out of a red radish, and place it on the plate, along side a slice of orange.

  • Serve with a slice of pickle and sauerkraut on the meat and add the bread on top.

  • Try buffalo breast ham for fillings.

  • Make sure that the vegetables you use are fresh.

  • Try always adding something healthy to your sandwich.


  • The knife is dangerous if you do not use it right! If you are underage,ask your parents for help.

  • Be mindful of certain food allergies when adding different variations of toppings and ingredients.

Related wikiHows

from How to of the Day http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Sandwich

via Peter

Saturday, 29 November 2014

Bill Watterson

"People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children."

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William Shakespeare

"What's done cannot be undone."

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Eugene McCarthy

"Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important."

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Mark Twain

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

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A. C. Benson

"People seldom refuse help, if one offers it in the right way."

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How to Deal with Child Protective Services

Child Protective Services (CPS) is an American government department that responds to reports of child abuse or neglect. When they stop by your house it is likely that you will be overwhelmed with many conflicting emotions: Anger, fear, worry even guilt are among the feelings racing through your mind. You may feel like you need to do everything and nothing all at the same time. When you’re faced with an unexpected challenge like the intervention of Child Protective Services, here's how to cope with the ordeal from start to finish.


Overcome the Shock

  1. Breathe. Take a couple of deep breaths and work through your emotions as best you can. It's normal to feel like your world is falling apart when CPS is introduced into your life. You may feel like you’re no longer in control of your own family; this can be hard, but by taking a step back to breathe, you slow down your thought processes and focus on the challenge at hand.

  2. Keep your composure. Strive to always remain in control of yourself. This will help you with your self-esteem; self-esteem will make it easier for you to retain self-composure. By composing yourself both in front of the children and the CPS officers, you come across as in control, composed, and stable.

    • Never lash out, and, as much as possible, avoid yelling out of frustration. You may feel like snarling at neighbors, family members, and even friends. While this would make you feel better right away, it could harm you in the eyes of CPS. There are other ways to resolve conflict and you shouldn’t take out your resentment on innocent acquaintances.

  3. Avoid placing the blame. Don't blame your children for what has occurred. This is not their fault. They have no control over the circumstances that led to CPS becoming involved. Maybe they spoke up about abuse or neglect, but it isn't their job to protect you if they feel that you are hurting them. They have a basic human right to be safe and feel safe. It's your job to keep them protected and, by whatever degree, you have missed the mark. It’s time to regain momentum and piece back together the trust that was lost.

  4. Take an honest look at yourself and your lifestyle. Some quiet introspection will do you a world of good. There are real factors that led to CPS getting involved with your family. Being in denial about it, or blaming someone else is not only wrong, but it will interfere with your ability to make a real, positive change. You must recognize the problem that spawned before you can fix it and move on.

Acceptance and Healing

  1. Accept the fact that your CPS worker will make surprise visits to your home. Your worker has two important goals. The first is to protect the children and do what's in their best interest. Try to understand that this is just an emergency measure. The second goal is to help you overcome any issues you may have so that your family can be reunited and back on track. Don’t attempt to shoo off CPS officers when they arrive at your door step. Their arrival is the consequence of your chosen action(s). If you do lash out, you might find yourself in more legal trouble than you had planned or can handle.

    • Work to improve your family's outlook. There are many things that you can and should do to improve your outlook, as well as that of others who see you and your children as a family unit.

    • Get into the habit of being respectful of your children and others at all times. This will go a long way to preventing this situation from reoccurring in future.

  2. Reach out to close friends and family members. Speak frankly and unemotionally with them. If you're sincere in your desire to improve yourself and family, they will see this. Ask them to help by letting you know if they see any warning signs of relapse. Mean it! Any time they tell you they see a problem or criticize something you're doing, thank them and take steps to improve. Never get defensive or angry. Remember constructive change is in the best interest of you and your children’s well-being—present and future.

Create Family Stability

  1. Reaffirm roles within the family. Family stability is vital for your children and for you. It keeps things running smoothly and helps eliminate unforeseen problems. The key is to make sure every member knows their role in the family, as well as their responsibilities. For example, if you're the parent and you're responsible for dinner, don't call your kids at the last minute and pass the burden to them. Emergencies happen, but don't do it just because you're out with a friend or preoccupied.

  2. Develop a high-quality, family-centered environment for your children. The aspect that separates your children from other kids their age is the environment you were raising them in which led to CPS intervention. This is why it is pivotal that you now generate an environment that is potently family-centric. This will go a long way to disperse compulsions to neglect the needs (and rights) of your children to be raised in a home that prepares them to contribute constructively to society.

  3. Establish a daily routine for yourself and your children and stick to it. This will avert most opportunities to shirk your responsibility as a parent. For example, if your children come home from school and do as they please, you can now strategically plan to become a part of their everyday life. You could provide structure with a list of chores or duties to complete before they can roam free. Failing to instill boundaries for your children can result in their missteps and lead to chaotic, unplanned days. By getting your children actively involved in the workings of the household, you’re supplying them the guarantee of a position in the family. Additionally you are providing assurance that you’re honing your parenting skills.

    • Make sure your kids have clean clothes for the next day.

    • Plan lunches for your children. Whether you pack a lunch or give them lunch money, it's important to have this covered every day.

    • Make sure there's always food in the house for your kids. Don't let them go without breakfast. This is important; they need morning nourishment to help them excel in school.

    • Having these basics ready will make your life a lot easier, which, in turn, will make it easier for you to cope.

    • Be in control of your life. Make sure that you, yourself have a personal routine. It can take a while getting used to having control of both your daily happenings and the happenings of your children, but work on it bit-by-bit, day-by-day.

  4. Keep yourself and your family clean. The personal hygiene of you and your children should be impeccable; this includes clothing. If you are experiencing hard times financially, thrift shops do have clothing for all ages. Adequate clothing paired with a bath or shower every single day will markedly improve the morale of your children and ignite greater content in knowing your children have been granted their basic needs.

  5. Make sure your children have the proper health care. This includes emotional health. If they need therapy to get over any trauma, whether from their relationship with you or not, make sure they get it, and always keep track of appointments. Your case worker will help with this if you ask. Dental check-ups and doctor (GP) visits should be done at least once a year, or when the need is presented. By providing health care to your children, you’re proving to them and others that you value their well-being.

  6. Be responsible about work. Establish a good work ethic and keep your job. If you lose your job, find another one as soon as possible. Having a constant income and being reliable is one way to demonstrate that you are serious about the well-being of your family. Even if it’s starting up a small ironing business at home with the kids, keeping busy and getting money will give you a feeling of worth and purpose.

  7. Provide for your children’s physical needs. Even if this means you have to skip going out with your friends, make sure your money is spent on food, clothing, school supplies, and any other necessities of life that your child may need. The deportment of your children is the reflection of both your devotion and level of care you instill in your child.

  8. Be the parent. Parenting is mix of many responsibilities. You should by no means allow your children to take the responsibility and role of a parent. You must attend to their needs. They are your offspring and you are their guardian. It’s okay to ask for help every now and then from your support network, but strive to wear the role as a parent with pride and tenacity.

Prevent Future Issues

  1. Take the time to talk about any problems and address them as fast as you can. CPS has many programs and resources to help you prevent a relapse. It’s imperative that you take advantage of the help that they offer you. Not only will this help you, but it will indicate to the case worker(s) that you’re stepping up to the plate and wanting to improve yourself for the betterment of your family.

    • Don’t be afraid to talk to your case worker about any problems. They’re there to help you overcome the issues that led to their mediation in the first place.

  2. Improve your care-giving skills and abilities. This might include taking parenting classes or undergoing anger management counseling. Even if these classes are mandatory, take them seriously. They will help you improve yourself and the way you interact with your children. Not only will you have the chance to make connections at these groups, but you can make some valuable affiliations that you can fall back on when things get tangled.

  3. Learn coping skills. Coping skills aren't germinated overnight, so seek help and see a therapist if you feel you just can't get on top of everything as much as you want. Your CPS case worker will help you find treatment that you can afford. This isn't just about your children. Coping skills are basic aptitudes that you can apply to all corners of your life.

  4. Learn how to establish and maintain healthy and nurturing relationships. It’s important to build bonds with friends and also with your children. You can’t raise a child dynamically with just one facade: the grump. It’s okay to have a laugh with your children and show them that you can have fun. If you miss having adult conversations or need to let your hair down, see if the children’s grandparents or a babysitter can care for the kids so you can go and do whatever you please.

  5. Avoid any further neglect or maltreatment of your children. CPS only deals with cases of neglect or child abuse or neglect. You need to do whatever it takes to make a real change in the way you interact with your children to suspend any further episodes of intervention. Understand that by expressing your discontent by making things tough on your kids heightens the discord (which is not what you want as the discord will put you back in the same situation).

  6. Expect that your children will not exercise the judgement of an adult. It's normal for them to get into trouble from time to time; this is part of the growing up process. Your job is to exhibit maturity and handle things with impeccable judgement. When your child stuffs up, discipline them appropriately and let them know that you love and forgive them.

    • If you feel angry or out of control over something your child has said or done, just stop. Say something along the lines of, "We'll talk later" and mean it. Go into another room, do something else, or just think until you calm down. When you feel you can handle the situation in a mature manner, then go talk to your child in private.

    • If your child needs to be punished, do it in a way that does not include yelling or hitting. Try suspending television or other entertainment privileges. If they had an irate episode, you could supply them with a pencil and notebook and have them write, “I will not get angry and swear at my parents” one hundred times.

Set a Good Example

  1. Lead by example. Once you have resolved your issues, it's time to lead by example. A good parent does not do things that they don't want their children to do. Children know your responsibility just as much as you do. Prove to them that you will hold up your end of the deal encouraging them to do the same thing. They will respect your efforts and reward you by mirroring your actions.

    • You are teaching your children how to handle real life situations by the example you set. Make sure those examples are upright and esteemed in society.

    • Maybe you didn't have good role models when you were growing up and you had to struggle. Come to terms with it and always strive to do a better job than your parents did.

  2. If you are a drug user or heavy drinker, right now is the time to stop. Get help if you need it. Join a 12 step program, or even put yourself in rehab. You probably won't want to do this, but think about it thoroughly: You can't possibly be a good parent if you are worrying about your next fix or planning your next drink.

    • Never forget that using drugs and alcohol will prevent you from thinking clearly about what your children need or want, so just don't do it.

    • Don't even try to hide drug or alcohol use. Even if you think you can hide it, this experience has shown you that you can't.

    • Clean yourself up. Stop putting yourself first, and always think about your child's needs before your own. This will, hopefully, provide a great future reward—when you look in the eyes of a mature and respectful child.

Reuniting the Family

  1. Come together as a family. The ultimate goal of Child Protective Services is return the children to a family unit that is safe, vibrant, and loving. There may be multiple obstacles to overcome, but you can attain this ideal if you sincerely want to.

    • Understand and nurture your child's mental, emotional, and educational well-being.

  2. Attend to your child's problems as they arise. Be aware of the impact that your actions have had on your kids. If CPS is involved, you can be sure your children will have some issues from their past treatment. They may not get over it easily on their own. As the parent, it's your job to re-establish trust, no matter how long it takes.

  3. Be honest with your children at all times. Show them the same respect that you'd expect them to show you. Nobody's perfect, but your child will notice that things have changed for the better, and that will help with healing. If you mess up with your child, apologize to them and explain why you're apologizing and how you wish you had handled the situation.

    • Children respect honesty and you should make sure they understand what's going on, whether or not you make a mistake. Otherwise, your child will be hurt and confused.


  • Manage your time. Plan the things you need to do, such as caring for your children, planning meals, shopping, hygiene, household chores... etc.

  • Never be intoxicated while in the presence of your children, you’re in parenting mode around your kids and bringing intoxication into the mix is doomed for disaster.

  • Make sure you are always attending to the needs of your children.

  • You are the adult and you must act like one. Remember your role in the family is to be a good parent, not a bully.

  • Remember, the goal of the social worker is to reunite your family. It may feel like she's an enemy who intruded into your personal life, but nothing is further from the truth. The well-being of your children is her number one concern. Work with her, not around her. She wants you to succeed.

  • If you are absolutely unable or unwilling to make the required changes, consider asking a family member if they'd be willing to have the kids live with them and give them guardianship and custody. Always do what's best for your kids, even if that means they live and are raised somewhere else.


  • You must actually make these changes. Don't just act the part to try and fool CPS. If you don't actually resolve the underlying issues that caused you to neglect or abuse your children, it's still a problem. Even if you get your kids back, these underlying problems will almost certainly result in you having to deal with CPS again later. You don't want this to happen.

  • You cannot keep a relapse secret. Concerned family, friends, neighbours, school teachers, and others will know the children have been neglected or abused in the past and they will pay close attention to the kids.

  • Other people will notice if you go back to putting yourself ahead of your children and all it takes is for one of them to call CPS, and then they will once again step into your life.

  • Lack of self-control and temper tantrums are not acceptable adult behavior.

  • Don't try to hide drug or alcohol abuse, things are likely to get bad again and others will notice. Don't put your family at risk.

Sources and Citations

from How to of the Day http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-with-Child-Protective-Services

via Peter

The 37 Cutest Baby Animal Photos Of 2014

Prepare for an overload of cute.

This proud little smiler.

This proud little smiler.


And this playful fuzzball.

And this playful fuzzball.

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This bundled kitten.

This bundled kitten.


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This calf who&#39;s getting a good grooming from his little buddy.


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How to Speak in a British Accent

Accents that are particular to England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales are each different and with practice you can begin to talk with one that sounds genuine. Along with the accents are mannerisms that you will need to assume to affect the part. The following directions may describe Queen's English or "Received Pronunciation" (RP) spoken in south England and Wales, rarely ever used in the modern-day United Kingdom, but the foreigners' stereotypical view of how the British talk. This study of RP is concerned largely with pronunciation, while study of the standard language is also concerned with matters such as correct grammar, more formal vocabulary and style.



  1. Start with the Rs. Understand that in most British accents speakers don't roll their Rs (except for those from Scotland, Northumbria, Northern Ireland, and parts of Lancashire), but not all British accents are the same. For example, a Scottish accent varies greatly from an English accent. After a vowel, don't pronounce the R, but draw out the vowel and maybe add an "uh" (Here is "heeuh"). In words like "hurry", dont blend the R with the vowel. Say "huh-ree".

    • In American English, words ending with "rl" or "rel" can be pronounced using either one or two syllables, completely interchangeably. This is not the case in British English. "-rl" words like "girl", "hurl", etc, are pronounced as one syllable with silent R, while "squirrel" is "squih-rul", and "referral" is "re-fer-rul".

    • Some words are easier to say in a British accent. For example, mirror, which sounds like "mih-ra". Do not say "mirror" like "mere"; British people almost never do that. When saying some words that end in a W it is often pronounced with an "r" at the end. For example, the word "saw" can be pronounced as "saw-r", used in a sentence it is "I sawr it!"


  1. Pronounce U in stupid and in duty with the ew or "you" sound. Avoid the oo as in an American accent; thus it is pronounced stewpid or commonly schewpid, not stoopid, etc. duty would be pronounced dewty or more often jooty. In the standard English accent, the A (for example, in father) is pronounced at the back of the mouth with an open throat—it sounds like "arh". This is the case in pretty much all British accents, but it's exaggerated in RP. In southern England and in RP, words such as "bath", "path", "glass", "grass" also use this vowel (barth, parth, glarss, grarss, etc.). However, in other parts of Britain "bath", "path", etc. sound like "ah".

Heavy consonants

  1. Enunciate on heavy consonant words. Pronounce that T in "duty" as T: not as the American D as doody so that duty is pronounced dewty or a softer jooty. Pronounce the suffix -ing with a strong G. This way it sounds like -ing rather than -een. But sometimes it is shortened to in as in lookin.

    • The words human being are pronounced hewman being or yooman been in certain areas, though it could be pronounced hewman bee-in.


  1. Sometimes drop the Ts. With some accents, including cockney accents, Ts aren't pronounced in words where Americans use D to replace it. However, there is usually a short pause or "hiccup" in its place. So "battle" might be pronounced ba-ill but it would be a rare occasion to find someone saying "Ba-ill" catching the air behind the back of the tongue at the end of the first syllable before expelling it on pronunciation of the second syllable. This is known as the glottal stop. Americans use glottal stops, too, for words like "mittens" and "mountain". It's just that British use them more often.

    • People with Estuary English, RP, Scottish, Irish and Welsh accents do consider it lazy and rude to drop the Ts, and this feature doesn't exist, but in almost all accents it's accepted to do it in the middle of words in casual contexts and almost universal to put a glottal stop at the end of a word.


  1. Observe that some words are pronounced as written. The word "herb" should be pronounced with an H sound. The word "been" is pronounced "bean", rather than "bin" or "ben". For RP, "Again" and "renaissance" are pronounced like "a gain" and "run nay sänce", with the "ai" as in "pain", not "said." The words ending in "body" are pronounced as written, like "any body", not "any buddy." But use a British short O sound.

  2. Observe that H is not always pronounced. The "H" is pronounced in the word "herb," in contrast to American erb. However, in many British accents, the H at the beginning of a word is often omitted, such as in many Northern accents and the Cockney accent.

  3. Say "bean," not "bin" for the word been. In an American accent, this is often pronounced bin. In an English accent, been is a common pronunciation, but "bin" is more often heard in casual speech where the word isn't particularly stressed.

  4. Notice that two or more vowels together may prompt an extra syllable. For example, the word "road" would usually be pronounced rohd, but in Wales and with some people in Northern Ireland it might be pronounced ro.ord. Some speakers may even say "reh-uud."

Listening and copying

  1. Listen to the "music" of the language. All accents and dialects have their own musicality. Pay attention to the tones and emphasis of British speakers. Do sentences generally end on a higher note, the same, or lower? How much variation is there in tone throughout a typical sentence? There is a huge variation between regions with tonality. British speech, especially RP, usually varies much less within a sentence than American English, and the general tendency is to go down slightly towards the end of a phrase. However, Liverpool and north-east England are notable exceptions!

    • For example, instead of saying, "is he going to the STORE?" Say, "is he GOING to the store?" Have the question descending in tone as opposed to ascending in tone (going up in tone is more common in American or Australian English).

  2. Get a British person to say well known sentences: "How now brown cow" and "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain" and pay close attention. Rounded mouth vowels in words such as "about" in London, are usually flattened in Northern Ireland.

  3. Immerse yourself in the British culture; this means surround yourself with individuals that speak, live, walk and talk British English. It's the surest way to learn a British accent quickly. Soon, you'll find yourself naturally able to speak with the variations above. Anything with a British speaker will work—try listening to the BBC (which provides free radio and television newscasts on the web) songs with British singers, or movies with British characters.


  • As well as accent, watch out for slang words, such as lads or blokes for boys and men, birds or lasses (in the north of England and in Scotland) for women. Loo for the toilet, but bathroom for a room you clean yourself in.

  • As with any accent, listening to and imitating a native speaker is the best and fastest way to learn. Remember that when you were young you learned a language by listening and then repeating the words while imitating the accent.

  • It is easier to learn accents by listening to people. A formal British accent can be heard on BBC news, where it can frequently be heard. Formal British speech is more deliberate and articulated than American, but as with newscasters everywhere, this effect is deliberately exaggerated for TV and radio broadcast.

  • When you say "at all" pronounce it like "a tall" but with a British accent.

  • RP is not called Queen's English for nothing, hear for yourself how HM Queen Elizabeth II speaks. A good thing would be to hear her at the State Opening of Parliament where she always delivers a very long speech, the perfect time to observe the way she speaks.

  • Don't learn more than one accent at a time. Since Estuary English sounds very different from a "Geordie" accent, you'll get confused very easily.

  • There are hundreds of different accents within the United Kingdom, so categorizing them all as a British accent is rather incorrect; wherever you go, you will find an unbelievable variety of different pronunciations.

  • Be creative. Have fun with it. Take your new knowledge and explore. Test your British accent on your friends! They'll tell you if it's good or not!

  • Many places have different mannerisms and word usages. Look up a British dictionary online for more British terms. Bear in mind that beyond the obvious tap/faucet, pavement/sidewalk distinctions, locals would find you at best an endearing source of amusement and at worst patronizing if you tried to adopt their local words and mannerisms yourself.

  • If you're visiting England, the universities of Oxford and Cambridge are some of the last strongholds of the traditional RP and "Queen's English" accent. However, more and more students there now speak with accents from around Britain and the world, and the natives of the cities and surrounding areas speak with their own (often very distinctive) local accents. They'd probably be offended if you assumed they spoke with a "stereotypical British accent"; don't fall into the common trap of thinking an Oxfordshire or Cambridgeshire accent is the same as an RP accent.

  • Pronounce everything clearly and articulate every word properly, making sure there are spaces between your words.

  • Perfect your British accent using the standard course used in many schools around the world 'Learn the British accent- FAST!' which is even available online now.

  • Take a trip to the United Kingdom and really listen to how they speak.

  • As a child, your ability for the ear to process different frequencies of sound is greater, enabling you to distinguish and reproduce the sounds of the languages that surround you. To effectively learn a new accent, you must expand the ability of your ear by listening over and over to examples of the accent.

  • Once you learn the techniques and listen to Brit speakers, try reading parts of books while reading in the dialect. It's fun and makes for good practice.

  • If you want to hear a more up-to-date version of this accent, watch some episodes of the TV series Eastenders and Only Fools and Horses. People do still speak like this, especially working-class people in east London and parts of Essex and Kent, although it's much more noticeable with older people.

  • Remember: The accents of Julie Andrews or Emma Watson (Hermione from Harry Potter), who speak RP, are quite different from those of Jamie Oliver and Simon Cowell (Estuary English—probably the most widespread everyday accent in Southern England, somewhere between Cockney and RP) or Billy Connolly (Glasgow).

  • Always use British English words if they are different to US English. The British tend to be protective about the differences. In particular, use "rubbish" and "tap", not "trash" and "faucet". Also, it's good (but not essential) to say "schedule" with "sh_", not "sk_" but you must learn how to say "specialty" with 5 syllables, not three as it is spelled differently in Britain (spe-ci-al-i-ty).

  • As you expand the ability of the ear, speaking becomes an automatism. When the ear can "hear" a sound, the mouth has a better chance of producing it.

  • Another way to practice an English, Welsh, Scottish or Irish accent would be to watch and follow a specific news spokesman on any British news channel and repeat their speech. Watching half an hour a day would greatly improve your speech patterns in just a couple of weeks.

  • When you know someone British ask them to say phrases for you so you can listen and try to learn.

  • Think about your audience. If you wish to genuinely fool people into thinking you're British, you want to think about regions, and work much harder than if you want to get a general picture across for a school play.

  • You may have heard a Cockney accent (east end of London). This accent is increasingly more unusual in the 21st century but if you were try to imitate one, notice that they almost sing words and they almost replace vowels and remove letters, e.g. the a in "change", would be an "i" sound. Films based on books by Dickens as well as ones such as "My Fair Lady" may have examples of this accent.

  • There are lots of English accents, like London, Cornwall, "Queens English", Yorkshire, Birmingham and West Bromwich, and Lancashire.


  • Don't think that you'll get it right quickly. It is likely that any true British person will know that you're faking it straight away, but it might pass for a real accent to non-Brits.

  • Don't narrow your mouth too much when you say words with "A" as shark or chance. The result may sound South African.

  • Don't be over confident that you do a good British accent. It is rare to find an imitation that sounds genuine to the native ear.

Things You'll Need

  • CD player, some CDs related to the British accent

  • You can also refer to BBC Learning English

  • Record the British accent and open windows media player and play it on slow. That will help you learn the British accent more quickly.

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations

from How to of the Day http://www.wikihow.com/Speak-in-a-British-Accent

via Peter
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