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Thursday, 5 February 2015

We Drew 9 Disney Scenes According To Science And It's Horrifying

You can thank me later for ruining your childhood.


If mermaids were real then Ariel's nose would be on top of her head.


If mermaids were real then Ariel's nose would be on top of her head.


In The Little Mermaid, Ariel's biggest problem is the fabulous drag-queen like octopus, Ursula. But if mermaids actually evolved to live in the sea then Ariel's story would take a very different turn.


"[Mermaids] would most likely have dorsal fins sticking out of their backs. Think of dolphins. Also, the arms would be fin-like or gone. There is not much use for hands in the open ocean. Further, their noses would be on the tops of their heads. And finally, they would be hairless, so no flowing locks," University of California, Irvine evolutionary biologist Bradford Hawkins, Ph.D., told BuzzFeed over email.


Unless Prince Eric is into "alternative" looks, then it looks like he's ain't gonna kiss the girl.


Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed


Aladdin and Jasmine's faces would burn off during their romantic magic carpet ride, according to the laws of physics.


Aladdin and Jasmine's faces would burn off during their romantic magic carpet ride, according to the laws of physics.


During Aladdin and Jasmine's oh-so-romantic magic carpet ride, the couple traveled from Cairo to Athens in essentially one second. Alejandro Garcia, Ph.D., an animation physicist at San Jose State University and DreamWorks told us what would happen if this were theoretically possible.


According to Garcia's calculations, they would be traveling at around 621 miles per second. The drag force or air resistance would be 100 million times larger than their weight.


"Since meteors burn up as they enter our atmosphere and they travel at a mere [6 to 43 miles] per second, it seems that Aladdin and Jasmine certainly need some magic to keep them safe from the viscous heat generated by their motion through the air," he said.


They would be squashed flat by the force and simultaneously disintegrate due to the heat. Aladdin and Jasmine would still experience a whole new world...in hell.


Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed


Finding Nemo is really a story about incest.


Finding Nemo is really a story about incest.


Nemo is a clownfish whose mother was unfortunately eaten by a barracuda in the film, leaving his poor father a widower.


But if this were biologically accurate, Nemo would engage in some family-friendly fun that isn't exactly Disney kosher. Clownfish are hermaphrodites, according to fishery scientist Patrick Cooney's blog.


Nemo's father would transform into a female once his mate dies. "Since Nemo is the only other clownfish around, he becomes a male and mates with his father (who is now a female). Should his father die, Nemo would change into a female and mate with another male," Cooney wrote. Apparently, Nemo suffers from an Oedifish complex.


Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed


Pinocchio's head would snap off after he told 13 lies.


Pinocchio's head would snap off after he told 13 lies.


Pinocchio was a wooden puppet whose one wish was to become a real boy. But he had a problem: His nose would grow every time he told a lie.


According to Steffan Llewellyn's calculations in the Journal of Interdisciplinary Science Topics (JIST), Pinocchio would only be able to tell 13 lies before his nose reaches around 682 feet and he is decapitated by the force exerted by his head on his neck.


"Nevertheless, this unique ability can be of great concern for the puppet, and

lengthy, extensive lies are advised against, for the health and well-being of Pinocchio," he wrote.


It looks like Pinocchio will never become a real boy, after all.


Dan Meth / Via BuzzFeed




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