How to Relax

Feeling stress is totally normal, but it’s not good for you. Knowing how to relax is vital for ensuring your health and well-being, as well as restoring the passion and joy in your life. Allowing stress to affect you can lead to depression, illness, weight gain and a general sense of malcontent. Learn to recognize stress and deal with it by calming your mind and your body. It’s also a good idea to spend time doing things that you love. Finally, you’ll likely feel more relaxed if you learn to deal with difficult people.

EditSteps

EditAcknowledging Stress and Changing Your Mindset

1. Recognize the mental symptoms of stress. Some stress can be positive. In small doses, it can make you motivated and energized. But if the level of stress in your life causes you to put up with things that are harming or distressing you constantly, you risk sliding into being too stressed.^[1] You could be too stressed if:
   
   • You can’t stop thinking about work. It might be your own business, a career, a salaried position, a stay-at-home mom or dad position, or anything else that is soaking up your time and life one hundred percent, and this over-concentration is leaving you passionless, disappointed, unhappy, and unfulfilled.
   • You're often irritable, short-tempered, and perhaps unable to focus on completing tasks.
   • You feel as if you have too much going on and that you can't hop off the merry-go-round.
   • You can't remember the last time you had a good laugh and your sense of humor is sadly lacking.
2. Notice if stress is affecting your body. Stress doesn’t just manifest itself in your head. It can also cause a lot of physical issues. You might be too stressed if you:^[2]:
   
   • Experience frequent body tension, including headaches, neck aches, backaches, and general soreness.
   • Have a hard time sleeping or find that you’re sleeping too much.
   • Experience changes in your appetite.
3. Set aside time to relax. Once you have accepted that there are negative stressors impacting your life, it's important to make room for relaxation amid all of the other things in your life. Find a method of scheduling relaxation that works for you.^[3]
   
   • Block out times in your day to relax. Think of it as an appointment with your most important client that you absolutely cannot skip or break. Write it on your calendar or set a reminder on your phone.
   • You could write “Take a yoga class, 2-3 p.m. Wednesday afternoon.” Schedule time to relax in the same way you would schedule meeting up with a friend or going to the doctor.
4. Let go of guilt you might feel for taking time off. With the advent of smart technology that keeps us hyper-wired 24/7, you might feel like you have to be "on-the-go" constantly. This can end up wearing you down. Give yourself permission to relax.^[4]
   
   • You might even write this down. A post-it note on your mirror that says, "You deserve a bubble bath after work!" is a great way to remind yourself that it is okay to relax.
5. Practice positive thinking. Positive thinking can do wonders for your mental health. Try changing the way you talk to yourself. Avoid criticizing yourself and work on changing negative thoughts into positive ones.^[5].
   
   • For example, instead of thinking, "Why am I so stressed? I should be able to handle all this!", switch to "Wow, I've been working really hard. I deserve to relax a little."
   • If you make a mistake, don't chastise yourself. Instead, acknowledge what went wrong and give yourself a pep talk about doing better next time.
   • Use visualization techniques. While you might not feel calm and relaxed, imagining a calm and relaxed scene in your mind can do wonders to improve your outlook. Picture beaches, lying down resting, going for a hike, etc., to help you stay relaxed.
6. Use affirmations to change your outlook on life. Affirmations are a great way to stop yourself from jumping to negative conclusions. Affirmations are short, powerful statements that build you up and increase your confidence, helping you to expect positive outcomes.^[6]
   
   • A good affirmation might be, "I am strong and I can face these challenges because I have a positive attitude."
7. Learn to prioritize. Make a list of tasks for the day. Organize the list by importance, and be proactive. Take care of things before they become a big problem. Time spent more productively means more free time to relax.^[7]
   
   • Make sure your work is done. Although this may sound counteractive to your goal of relaxing, procrastination never feels as good as having nothing to do. Get your tasks done now, and then you can truly relax.

EditReducing Tension in Your Body

1. Practice deep breathing when you're stressed. Slow down your breathing and actively concentrate on it. Breathe in through your nose while counting slowly to 4 or 5 and then exhale out your mouth while doing the same count.^[8]
   
   • Doing this will relax your muscles and nerves. As you breathe out, visualize the stress and tension leaving your body through your breath.
2. Eat a healthy diet to feel your best. Eating well can help your body feel balanced and healthy. This can you less susceptible to spikes in blood sugar and feelings of anxiety. It will also help you to have more energy!^[9]
   
   • Eat fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains each meal. For example, you could have a veggie omelet, some berries, and whole grain toast for breakfast.
   • Eat plenty of healthy proteins, such as chicken, fish, whole grains, legumes, dark leafy vegetables or low-fat dairy. Try tofu for a vegetarian option.
   • Avoid sugary foods like granola bars, pastries or sodas.
   • Avoid excessive caffeine. Too much caffeine can make you jumpy and irritable. Try not to drink caffeine after 1 or 2 in the afternoon. Try an herbal tea instead of coffee
   • Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water.
3. Exercise every day. This is a great way to reduce stress. As a bonus, it's great for your physical health, too! You'll be amazed at how much easier it is to overcome stress if you exercise regularly. ^[10] Try doing some of the following:
   
   • Aim for at least thirty minutes per day of moderate activity.
   • Walk in the park, in the woods, or on a treadmill.
   • Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
   • Park a little further away from the entrance of a store.
   • Ride a bike.
   • Go swimming. Try your local pool, a nearby lake or a friend or relative's home. You do not have to be an excellent swimmer; just the idea of being in water could be relaxing enough.
   • Stretch. Lower your shoulders to help relax. Be more consciously aware of the tension that is quick to accumulate in your shoulders and neck region.
4. Try a massage to soothe tense muscles. Go to your local spa for a great massage. Undoing the body knots is a good pathway to undoing the mind knots. Ask a friend or family member to recommend a good massage therapist.
   
   • If that's not in your budget, ask your partner or a friend to give you a shoulder rub. Or go get a pedicure so that you get a foot rub!
5. Make good sleep a priority. Try to get 7-9 hours of sleep each night. This will help you feel refreshed and ready to face the day. Get into a routine of going to bed at the same time each night and getting up at the same time each day.^[11]
   
   • Turn off electronics at least an hour before bed so that your mind has time to wind down.
   • Create a soothing nighttime routine, such as reading a chapter of a book or taking a warm shower.

EditDoing Relaxing Activities

1. Draw a warm bath. Warm water can be incredibly soothing. Fill up the tub and then create an atmosphere that relaxes you. You could light candles around the tub, dim the lights, or add bubbles. Lavender is a relaxing scent, so you could add some lavender oil to the tub, too.^[12]
   
   • You could read a magazine in the bath, listen to music, or just close your eyes and chill.
2. Read a good book. Reading is a great way to escape from reality. Find a comfy spot and settle in. You could curl up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of chamomile tea, for example.
   
   • If you're feeling anxious, avoid reading a scary thriller. That won't help you feel calm.
3. Practice meditation. Remove all thoughts and emotions from your mind by concentrating on your breathing. Meditation takes you into focusing on your whole being as a form of relaxation. It can take a while to master, but it is well worth the effort.^[13]
   
   • Begin with a sitting posture for a minimum of 15 minutes per session and build up to 45–60 minutes per session.
   • Try to meditate regularly. Even 5 minutes a day is great!
   • Find a respected mentor if you are having difficulty learning meditation by yourself.
   • Avoid being intense, competitive, or frustrated about meditating – all of these emotions defeat the purpose!
4. Consider self-hypnosis. Focus on something, take a few deep breaths and let yourself become hypnotized. If you have trouble with self-hypnosis, go to a licensed hypnotherapist. Do not allow an amateur to try to hypnotize you, as that might end up being stressful.
   
5. Do an activity you truly enjoy to relax. The most important part of relaxing is to choose the method that's right for you. Think about the things in life that you truly enjoy and make time to do them. For example, you could:
   
   • Go fishing, sew, sing, paint or take photographs.
   • Try singing a song using numbers instead of words. Singing can help to distract you from stress to suddenly relax.
   • Use music as relaxation therapy. Play it as loudly or as softly as you like, whichever calms you the most.
6. Spend time with your pet. Cuddle or play with your pets. They'll love it and so will you. Talk to your pet about all the stress and anxiety you've been going through and you'll feel a lot better. Pet therapy is a genuine means for relaxing.^[14]
   
   • If you don't have a pet, ask a friend if you can spend time with theirs. Many cities also now have cat cafes where you can go and hang out with cats for a small fee.
7. Smile and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. Rent, buy or see a hilarious movie. Smiling and laughing releases endorphins, which fights stress, helps to relax and reminds you that life is more than just work. Even if it feels strange at first, make it a point to smile more often.^[15]
   
   • You could also go to a comedy show or make a date to hang out with your funniest friend.

EditStaying Relaxed Around Stressful People

1. Create space between yourself and highly stressed people. Being around people who are too stressed can rub off on you. If you need to be around them, try imagining an invisible boundary (like a wall) exists between you. This is really a visualization technique, in which you imagine that you are cocooned against the negative vibes of overly stressed people around you. See their behavior and attitudes for what they are, recognize what their stress is doing to them but refuse to let this penetrate your shield.^[16]
   
   • Separating yourself from other people's stress can be hard at first, especially if you are empathic by nature, but keep practicing until not giving in to their negativity becomes second nature.
2. Disconnect from toxic people. Put the phone back down, shut the email folder, walk away. Whenever you feel like making an instantaneous reply in anger to someone who has raised your ire, don't act on it^[17]. When we feel angry and stressed, we are more likely to read sinister interpretations into our interactions and if we act on them, our self-righteous anger can be self-fulfilling when the person responds negatively. Sleep on your angry missive and practice some relaxation techniques.
   
   • Write a draft of your response and let it sit for a day. If everything in it is just as true and valid to you 24 hours later, consider sending it. If not, you'll be grateful you held off.
   • Walk away and decompress. Instead of acting in anger, remove yourself from the situation until your calm has returned.
   • Avoid toxic personalities. Spend less time with people who try to guilt you into doing things or tell you that you're not good enough. Yes, even if they're family.
   • Steer clear of people who are constantly complaining. Stress can be contagious, so avoid transmitters. It's great to be supportive of others. But if they don't seem to want your help, or seem to just want to drag you down, it might be time for some space.
3. Give hugs. Go on the positive offensive and reach through to people who seem down and negative. Caring touch reduces stress and promotes relaxation. Say hello and goodbye to your friends and family members with a hug, and don't be afraid to comfort someone with a hug, or ask for a hug when you're feeling overwhelmed.
   
4. Know when to cut ties. It can be challenging to realize that there are people who are just too toxic or too needy to keep in your inner circle. They might sap your energy and stress you out. Sometimes it's best to let go, provided you do so after thinking it through carefully. Avoid being judgmental, hurtful, or blunt; just move on as you need to. Take some time to evaluate the people in your life and take action if they are:
   
   • Manipulative or controlling
   • A toxic friend
   • A toxic partner

EditRelaxation Help

Sample Meditation Techniques

Sample Ways to Manage Stress

Ways to Calm Down

EditVideo

EditTips

• De-clutter your home or living space. It is very hard to relax in a house where stuff is always in the way, ruling your life.
• Download e-books on relaxation. Use controlled breathing, muscle tensing and relaxing, affirmations (which become your own subliminal messages to your subconscious), and visualization to experience the full impact of total relaxation.
• Put yourself first sometimes, we often think about everybody's problems and we get more stressed every day.

EditWarnings

• Consult your physician if stress is causing serious symptoms, such as headaches, poor appetite or general fatigue.
• Thousands of people become unknowingly addicted to drugs and alcohol in times of severe stress. One of the hardest parts of dealing with stress is recognizing it and avoiding temptations that mask it rather than remedy it.

EditRelated wikiHows

• Devote a Day to Relaxing and Pampering Yourself at Home
• Relieve Stress
• Relax After a Long Day
• Relax Your Mind
• Make Yourself Relax
• Relieve Anxiety
• Relax With Yoga

EditReferences

EditQuick Summary

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