“JUST THROW THE DAMN BALL, JIM.”
"I thought the glass door was open but it wasn't. What's the point of even continuing with the day."
"My human threw my ball and I went off looking for it but it was in his hand the whole time. What an ass."
"The neighbours got a new puppy and it's cuter than me. This is the worst day ever."
"My human wouldn't let me outside EVEN THOUGH I saw a butterfly go past the window. Ugh."
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