How to Write a Diary

Diaries are wonderful objects that allow you to discuss your emotions, record dreams or ideas, and reflect on daily life in a safe, private space. While there's no single, definitive way to write a diary, there are some basic tricks you can use to get the most out of your writing. If you aren't sure what to write about, using prompts like inspirational quotes can help get started on new entries.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Sample Diary Entries

Sample Diary Entries

Sample Diary Entries

Sample Travel Diary

Sample Travel Diary

[Edit]Brainstorming Topics

1. Write about the events of your day. Think about everything that happened that day and record any highlights or feelings that stand out to you. Even if you had a pretty standard day, you might be surprised by deeper thoughts and feelings that come up as you write down details about your day.^[1]
   
   • Feel free to veer off into any topic you want as you're writing about the day's events.
   • For example, you could write about the English exam you took at school that day. Are you feeling good about the exam? Do you wish you had studied more? Are you nervous to receive your grade?
2. Contemplate your goals for the future and how to achieve them. Make a list of your short-term and long-term goals. Then, go through each item on the list and write in detail about your plan to accomplish the goal. Breaking each goal up into smaller tasks that you can work on can make your goals feel less overwhelming.^[2]
   
   • For example, you could write about short-term goals like studying for your algebra exam or hitting the gym for a cardio session.
   • Long-term goals would be stuff like choosing and applying to colleges or saving up money to buy a car.
3. Jot down your current feelings or mood. Don't worry about providing any context for your emotions, just focus on accurately describing what they are.^[3] You can then use those feelings and thoughts as prompts for creating detailed diary entries. Work on one thought or emotion at a time and explore it as fully as you can.
   
   • For example, if you're feeling sad, you can write a diary entry about why you feel that way and any events that may have contributed.
   • You can add a line from the lyrics of a song you are often listening to in your entry to preserve the current mood.
4. Write down inspirational quotes and what they mean to you. Inspirational quotes can come from anywhere—a famous person, your favorite book or movie, or even a friend or a family member. Any quote you find inspiring is a great starting point. Record the quote in your diary and note where it came from. Then, explain what it means to you in your own words.^[4]
   
   • For example, you might write down a quote like, "The secret of getting ahead is getting started," which came from Mark Twain. Write a diary entry about what this means to you and what things you need to get started on to achieve certain goals.
5. Explore your favorite subjects or hobbies in-depth. Make a list of topics that you love or your favorite hobbies. You might love movies, sports, food, travel, art, or fashion. The subjects can be anything you want, as long as they interest and inspire you. Then, choose one item from the list and create a diary entry about it.^[5]
   
   • For example, if you love sports, write about why you love a certain sport, your favorite teams, and personal goals you have if you play any sports yourself.
   • If you love painting, you could write about your favorite painters, the painting styles that speak to you the most, recent paintings you've made, and ideas for future paintings.

[Edit]Creating Personal Entries

1. Write the date in the corner or on the first line. You may not write in your diary every day, so dating your entries can help you keep track of when things happened. Since you'll be writing in your diary over a long period of time, dates will also help you stay organized and provide context when you look back on your entries in the future.^[6]
   
   • If you like, you can also put the time, day of the week, and your location alongside the date.
2. Begin each entry with a topic in mind. Most people reach for their diary when they have something they want to get down on paper or think about. This could be anything—something that happened that day, a dream you had, future plans, an event, an idea, or strong emotion or mood you're feeling.^[7]
   
   • Once you start writing, you're free to veer off into any subject you like! But having something in mind when you start the entry can help kickstart the writing process.
3. Open with "Dear Diary" if you want to. This is a completely personal choice, so go with what works best and feels right for you. At first, addressing the "Diary" can feel almost like reaching out to a friend rather than simply writing or talking to yourself. You may find this helpful if you're new to journaling.
   
4. Write in the first person by using "I" statements. Diaries are very personal items, and they typically work best when you speak in the first person. In your diary, you are free to make everything about you! Many people find this aspect extremely cathartic, especially when it comes to exploring personal thoughts, emotions, and reactions.
   
   • For example, you might write something like, "I'm worried about volleyball tryouts this week. I've practiced a lot and I feel ready, but I'm so nervous I can hardly eat."
5. Be honest in your entries. Many people find diary writing cathartic because they can let go of inhibitions on the page and truly be themselves. Feel free to record your emotions, both positive and negative, in their entirety in your diary. Remember that no one will ever see what you've written, so you can write honestly about anything. This is for your eyes only.
   
   • For example, you might write, "I feel jealous of Shaun's new car. I'm happy for him, but it seems really unfair that his parents bought him a brand new car. I'm working every day after school just to save up for a used car."
   • If you're afraid someone will find and read your diary, there are things you can do to prevent this. Physical diaries with locks and password-protected digital diaries are two of the most popular ways to control privacy.
   • Many people have epiphanies about themselves and their relationships through honest diary writing. Be open to learning about yourself as you write.
6. Don't worry too much about grammar and spelling. Your diary is a safe space for you to vent and share without the pressures of external judgment. Write freely and without inhibition. Being grammatically correct, proper spelling, and writing perfect phrases are not nearly as important as getting your thoughts and feelings down on the page. Jot down the first things that come to mind when considering your day, current mood, and any feelings you're struggling with.^[8]
   
   • For some people, it helps to take a few minutes at the beginning of each entry to simply free write.
7. Use lots of details to preserve moments in time. Diaries help you preserve thoughts and feelings as they're happening. You're also able to record events immediately after they happen when details are still fresh in your mind. Since memories can become unreliable, especially as time passes, recording precise details vividly can help you preserve moments in time exactly as they occurred.^[9]
   
   • Detailed writing isn't for everyone, so don't feel like you have to write long, wordy sentences. If you find it easier to express your emotions in short bursts or even bullet points, feel free to do that.

[Edit]Getting into a Routine

1. Choose a specific time each day to write in your diary. Many people struggle to find the time to write in their diary. Others simply forget to write. It helps to choose a specific time each day for diary writing so that you can develop the habit. Eventually, it will become second nature, but it can help to set a daily reminder on your phone until then!^[10]
   
   • For example, you might choose to write in your diary every night right before bed.
   • Don't set an unrealistic schedule for yourself. If writing every day seems out of reach, plan on writing entry 3 times a week instead.
2. Keep your writing sessions short in the beginning. You don't have to set aside a huge chunk of time every day for writing in your diary! 10-15 minutes per session is a great goal when you're just starting out. Jot down your most pressing and immediate feelings and thoughts. You can always write more later in the week when you have time!^[11]
   
   • For example, you could write a few key bullet points in your diary when you're pressed for time.
   • Setting an intimidating schedule for yourself could be counterproductive. You want journaling to be an outlet, not a chore, so go easy on yourself.
   • Pick a time to write when you don't have other obligations or time constraints.
3. Use illustrations if you prefer drawing to writing. Some people find if easier to convey their thoughts and emotions through drawing rather than writing. If you're more likely to stick to a schedule when drawing or sketching is involved, feel free to use that approach!^[12]
   
   • Quick drawings may also help you get down something that you want to remember but don't have time to write about.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Writing a diary should be a cathartic experience and not a chore. Allow yourself to enjoy your writing!
• To camouflage your diary, write "Algebra Notes" or "School Notebook" on the cover.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Hide Your Diary
• Keep a Diary and Stick to It
• Make-a-Personalised-Diary-Using-Canva

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ [v161940_b01]. 9 September 2021.
2. ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-use-journaling-to-set-goals
3. ↑ [v161855_b01]. 22 July 2021.
4. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/writing-therapy/
5. ↑ https://penzu.com/how-to-start-and-write-a-diary
6. ↑ https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/writing/articles/journal-writing
7. ↑ https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/writing/articles/journal-writing
8. ↑ https://www.readingrockets.org/topics/writing/articles/journal-writing
9. ↑ https://penzu.com/how-to-start-and-write-a-diary
10. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1
11. ↑ https://penzu.com/how-to-start-and-write-a-diary
12. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentID=4552&ContentTypeID=1

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How to Put Yourself First

You can’t pour from an empty cup, so it’s time to put yourself first. Putting yourself first means taking time for self-care, enforcing your boundaries, and treating yourself with kindness. Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s, so it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself sometimes. We’re here to help you start taking great care of yourself by putting yourself first.

This article is based on an interview with our certified life coach, Sydney Axelrod, owner of Sydney Axelrod LLC.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Take time for yourself so you can rest, practice self-care, or pursue a hobby.
• Ask for help when you need it, and say “no” when something isn’t right for you.
• Be compassionate toward yourself and give yourself permission to do what’s right for you.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Set personal boundaries.

1. It’s okay to say “no” sometimes. If you’re not careful, people will demand too much of you, leaving you burnt out. To prevent this, establish boundaries with your friends, family, and coworkers so you can put yourself first when necessary.^[1] If someone violates your boundaries, explain that what they did isn’t okay.
   
   • You might tell your coworkers that you’re unavailable after work hours.
   • You could ask friends not to call or text you after 10:00 p.m. because that’s when you wind down.
   • You may ask your partner to complete some chores on their own.
   • If your friend invites you to a party but you want to stay home and study, communicate that clearly to your friend by saying "no."

[Edit]Ask for help when you need it.

1. You can’t do everything on your own. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it because everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. When you need something, try asking in person because people are more likely to say “yes.” Additionally, be direct about what you need and how they can help.^[2]
   
   • “I’m swamped with work this week. Can you take care of the laundry?”
   • “I made an appointment after work today. Could you pick up the kids?”
   • “I won’t be able to give this project the attention it needs with my current workload. Could you ask someone else?”

[Edit]Prioritize rest.

1. Give yourself time to unwind, even if chores go undone. You need to fill your cup before you can fill anyone else's, which means you need rest.^[3] To make sure you have time to relax, schedule time to rest into your week, whether it’s a few hours or an entire day. Treat it like any other appointment and stick to it.^[4]
   
   • Spend an evening at home under a comfy blanket.
   • Spend Sunday morning drinking coffee and reading.
   • Take a quick 20-minute nap when you feel tired.
   • Get a good night’s sleep.

[Edit]Reduce stress.

1. Blow off steam every day so it doesn’t build up. To help reduce your stress choose stress relievers that are easy to include in your daily habits. Try to engage your five senses because you’ll be able to relax more easily. Here are some ideas you could try:^[5]
   
   • Savor hot herbal tea.
   • Apply a scented lotion.
   • Light a candle and listen to calming music.
   • Take a bath with scented bath salts.
   • Go for a walk outside.

[Edit]Take 15 minutes for fun daily.

1. You deserve time to do something you enjoy. Schedule a block of time every day that you can use to enrich yourself.^[6] Spend this time doing something like relaxing, watching your favorite show, reading, or making something.
   
   • Do something creative.^[7]
   • Work on a puzzle.
   • Sit outside and enjoy a beverage.

[Edit]Get a hobby.

1. Pick up an old hobby or start a new one that brings you joy. Try to engage in your hobby at least once a week, even if it's just for a few minutes. You might even pick something you can carry with you, like knitting or playing handheld games. Here are some hobbies you might try:^[8]
   
   • Drawing.
   • Painting.
   • Gaming.
   • Gardening.
   • Playing an instrument.
   • Knitting.
   • Woodworking.

[Edit]Practice gratitude.

1. Create an abundance mindset by counting your blessings. When you act from a mindset of abundance, you’ll feel happier and more fulfilled.^[9] To help you focus on the good in your life, make a gratitude list by writing down three things every day that you’re grateful for. You could also thank people when they do something special for you. You could be grateful for:^[10]
   
   • Your home.
   • Your friends, family, and partner.
   • Your pet.
   • Your job.
   • Delicious food, like chocolate.
   • Coffee.
   • Beautiful weather.

[Edit]Eat a healthy diet.

1. Nourish your body by eating healthy foods. It’s hard to stick to a healthy diet after a long day, but nutritious food gives you energy and supports good health.^[11] In general, eat more fruits and vegetables, as well as complex carbohydrates. On the other hand, limit sugar and saturated fat.^[12] You deserve to feel your best, so fuel your body well.
   
   • Try meal prepping on Sundays so you have healthy meals for the entire week.
   • Snack on low-prep fresh foods, like baby carrots, apple slices, or bananas.
   • Prepare bigger dinners so you can eat leftovers for lunch the next day.

[Edit]Exercise daily.

1. Exercise improves your wellbeing. In general, you need about 150 minutes of moderate exercise or 75 minutes of vigorous exercise a week for health. Pick an exercise that you enjoy so that it’s easy to stick to your goals, and make an exercise schedule. Plus, you’ll have more fun.^[13]
   
   • Take a dance class.
   • Go for long walks.
   • Follow along with a video workout.
   • Play a recreational sport, like softball, tennis, or basketball.

[Edit]Try meditation.

1. Meditate daily to reduce stress and improve your well-being. For a simple meditation, sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Then, focus on your breath while clearing your mind and sit for at least 10 to 15 minutes. If your mind wanders, gently refocus on your breath. You might also repeat a mantra, like “peace” or “calm.”^[14]
   
   • Try apps like Headspace or Insight Timer for free guided meditations.

[Edit]Treat yourself with compassion.

1. Be kind to yourself. If you’re too hard on yourself, you’ll burn out really easily. You’re only human, so you’ll make mistakes sometimes. When you do something wrong, acknowledge your responsibility and try to make it right. Then, move on and let go of any guilt that you feel over what happened.^[15]
   
   • Forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made in the past.
   • Apologize for your mistakes, then start fresh.

[Edit]Trust yourself.

1. Listen to your inner voice when making decisions for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else does, so it’s important that you do what’s right for you. Start by surrounding yourself with people who support you and by speaking kindly to yourself.^[16] Trust yourself to decide what’s right for you.
   
   • Learn to listen to your intuition. Start by grounding yourself by breathing deeply and imagining a cord connecting you to the earth. Then, ask yourself yes or no questions. Let the feeling in your body give you the answer.^[17]

[Edit]Challenge negative beliefs.

1. Change how you think about putting yourself first. Start by confronting any beliefs you might have about it being selfish or lazy. Then, give yourself permission to put yourself first. Additionally, remind yourself that there’s no deadline for changing how you treat yourself or for trying something new.^[18]
   
   • When you think something like, “I’m being selfish for prioritizing myself today,” counter with, “I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others.”
   • If you think, “Saying ‘no’ to that new project is lazy,” combat it with “I need to rest if I want to be my best.”
   • Keeping a journal can help you work through your thoughts and beliefs.^[19]

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

• Talk to your family and friends about needing to put yourself first sometimes.
• Talk to a therapist if you’re struggling to put yourself first. You can attend therapy appointments online through BetterHelp.

[Edit]References

1. ↑ https://mhanational.org/taking-time-yourself
2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tracking-wonder/202002/4-tips-effectively-ask-help-and-get-yes
3. ↑ [v161450_b01]. 30 June 2020.
4. ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/relaxation/relaxation-tips/
5. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/quick-stress-relief.htm
6. ↑ https://mhanational.org/taking-time-yourself
7. ↑ [v161450_b01]. 30 June 2020.
8. ↑ https://www.uaex.uada.edu/life-skills-wellness/extension-homemakers/Hobbies_LessonGuide.pdf
9. ↑ [v161450_b01]. 30 June 2020.
10. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/gratitude.htm
11. ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/eating-habits-and-the-psychology-of-food
12. ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/how-to-eat-a-balanced-diet/eight-tips-for-healthy-eating/
13. ↑ https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/fitness/fitness-basics/aha-recs-for-physical-activity-in-adults
14. ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/17906-meditation
15. ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2016/09/ce-corner
16. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-wise-brain/201701/trust-yourself
17. ↑ [v161936_b01]. 2 September 2021.
18. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-emotional-meter/201711/its-never-too-late-to-put-yourself-first
19. ↑ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?ContentTypeID=1&ContentID=4552

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How to Know What You Want in Life

You have to be honest with yourself to figure out what will truly make you happy in life. No two people are going to have the same path to life satisfaction, no matter how well-matched they are, so you need to look deep within yourself to find out what will work best for you as an individual. This article will help you figure out what it is that will make you happy, and then provide some tips for how to achieve that happiness.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Figuring Out What Makes You Happy

1. Evaluate your core values.^[1] Write down the three aspects of your life that are most important to you and rank them in terms of importance. Does your family come before or after your faith in God, if you believe in God? Is it more important for you to spend time on the hobbies that make you personally happy, or to focus on the career that supports your family and gives them a comfortable life?
   
   • By ranking your values and priorities, you’ll be better able to tell whether or not you’re devoting an appropriate amount of energy to each aspect of your life.
2. Make a list of your favorite activities. There are no right or wrong answers, but be honest. Maybe traveling brings you the most joy, or maybe it’s a well-cooked meal. Maybe you love to talk about books, and you should practice literary criticism. Maybe you like to be the one writing the books, not the one talking about the books other people have written.
   
   • The list might evolve over time. What makes you happy at 20 might not be what makes you happy at 30. Don’t be married to an image of “who you are” — update your list over time to reflect what makes you happy in the present moment.
   • Ask yourself what you want to do if money wasn’t an issue to find out what you’re truly passionate about.
3. Avoid relying on material possessions. Having “stuff” makes a lot of people happy, but don’t fool yourself into thinking that just having things is the root of joy. You may want a nice sound system because you love music, but focus on your love of music, not the sound system. Be aware that going to concerts, singing with friends, and whistling on your drive to work are all equally important elements that work with the fancy sound system to bring you joy.
   
4. Practice meditation. Meditation can be surprisingly beneficial for mental health and happiness, and can clear your mind so you can see your priorities more clearly.^[2]Even though it has religious and mystical roots, meditative techniques can be used by anyone for relaxation and stress relief.
   
   • Find a tranquil environment free from distracting sounds and activities — someplace where you can clear your mind and focus on your state of being.
   • Sit in a comfortable position like the lotus position with your eyes closed, and focus on your breathing.
   • Inhale and exhale slowly, deeply, and purposefully.
   • Focus on your breath, how it feels entering and exiting your body. Be present fully in your body in the moment, and do your best to think of nothing else.
   • Do this at the same time every day to make it part of your routine. Early in the morning, before you go to work, is a good time for meditation because it calms and prepares you for the rest of your day.

[Edit]Figuring Out What You Want in a Career

1. Make a list of your strengths. The most satisfying careers are the ones that make the best use of your natural skills and talents. If you’re a great public speaker and you really enjoy giving presentations, you are squandering that talent by coding programs at a desk. Maybe you could combine both aptitudes by becoming a teacher! Be aware that your career strengths are different from the skill strengths that make you happy. Some questions that might help you suss out your strengths are:
   
   • Do you work best alone, with a partner, or as part of a larger team?
   • Do you work best when you’re assigned tasks or when you get to lead your own projects?
2. Make a list of your passions. Although not everybody can have a career in something they’re absolutely crazy about, most people should be able to match up interests and careers to some degree.
   
   • There are many tests you can take to figure out what kinds of jobs are best matched to your interests.^[3]
3. Envision your ideal schedule. Some people can’t stand the idea of working every day from 9-5 in an office setting. If you crave the flexibility to work at your own pace, during your own work hours, and from a setting of your choosing, maybe freelance or contract work appeals to you. Others might not see themselves following the constantly shifting schedule of a university professor with its attendant ever-changing focus. Instead, they might flourish in a setting with stability and the sameness of a 9-5 workday filled with well-known, repeating duties.
   
   • Ask yourself what kind of schedule would work best with your work habits.
   • Don’t choose freelance work if you slack off and lose focus easily!
   • Note that freelance and contract work is less stable than regular office work and usually does not offer benefits.
4. Calculate a budget. Although you shouldn’t ever choose a career just for the money, you also don’t want to labor away without ever making enough money to support yourself and your family. Calculate a budget to determine how much money you’ll need to maintain your family at a level of comfort that’s acceptable.
   
   • Search online for average salaries in various career paths.^[4] Figure out if the career you’re thinking about will satisfy your monetary needs.
   • Think about extra training (such as additional schooling) you will need in order to achieve your career goals.
5. Don’t be afraid of a career change.^[5] If you’re stuck in a job you hate, you might daydream about a career that actually satisfies you, but there might also be any number of things, including time, ego, and fear about financial stability, that might stop you from finding a career that will really satisfy you. You need to put everything on the back burner except for your career satisfaction.
   
   • To prepare for a career change, you should begin saving as much money as possible. A career change sometimes means you have to start your new job at a lower-paying position before you can work your way back up the ladder.

[Edit]Figuring out What You Want in a Relationship

1. Write down a list of your core values.^[6] If you plan on spending the rest of your life with someone, you want to find a partner who shares your fundamental outlook on life. What are your most uncompromising, unchanging beliefs? Some examples might be:
   
   • You want a big family vs. you don’t want kids
   • How to raise children
   • Religious beliefs
   • Feelings about marriage and/or divorce
   • How you approach conflicts and problem-solving
2. Write a list of must-have traits in a partner.^[7] You’re never going to find anybody who matches your entire partner wish-list perfectly, so you have to be realistic about what the most important characteristics you’re looking for are. Prioritize the things you’re looking for in a relationship and figure out what the five most important elements are. Some examples might be:
   
   • Sense of humor
   • Good-looking
   • Shares your taste in music or other hobbies
   • Enjoys/avoids outdoor activities
   • Financial stability
3. Learn to be happy with yourself. Regardless of how great a romantic partner you find, you’ll never be happy in a relationship until you can be happy with yourself.^[8] You’ll also have a better idea of what you want and need in a partner if you’re the best version of yourself that you can possibly be, and you’re happy with it.
   
4. Ignore the lists you made.^[9] Though it’s good to know what you want in a relationship, don’t close yourself off to potential partners just because they don’t fit with some preconceived idea you wrote down on a piece of paper. Admit that you’re never going to find someone who meets your entire checklist, and just be open to spending time with the people you feel a connection with.
   

[Edit]Figuring Out What You Want in a Family

1. Figure out if you want to have children. Some people know from a young age that they want to be parents, but it’s not so obvious an option for many. There’s nothing wrong with that! Don’t let anyone — parents, friends, society at large — pressure you into a choice you don’t want for yourself. Some things to keep in mind include:
   
   • Are you called to parenthood? Though it’s more commonly ascribed to women (biological clocks, maternal instincts), both men and women sometimes just feel the urge to start a family. Other times, that need simply isn’t there.
   • Can you afford a family? As of 2014, the estimated cost of raising a child from birth to legal adulthood is $245,000.^[10] How much wiggle room will that give you, based on your family income? Will you be able to give children a good quality of life? Will you have a comfortable retirement?
   • Do you understand the realities of parenting? Although most parents will say that their children are their greatest joy and achievement, they’ll also tell you how hard it is to raise a child. As a parent, it will be your responsibility to safeguard your child against all dangers, to provide them with the best possible life, and to socialize them into a responsible citizen of the world. You’ll have to put up with temper tantrums and expensive Christmas lists, etc., etc. It’s a hard job!
   • Remember that women can always have their eggs frozen if they choose not to have children in prime child-bearing age.^[11] Although it’s difficult to get pregnant as women’s bodies age, freezing young eggs gives you a better chance of having a child if you choose to start a family later in life.
2. Decide how large or small a family you want. If you decide that you do, in fact, want to have children, the next step is to figure out how large you want your family to grow. Again, some of this is just instinct; some people can just feel in their bones that they want a large family. But there are many practical considerations you should keep in mind.
   
   • Again, each child will cost about $245,000 over their 18 years of legal childhood!
   • How much attention can you devote to each child? A single child will get as much attention as their parents have to offer, but with each additional child, your attention will grow more and more diffused over your growing brood. How much time will you have to drive each child to their individual after-school activities, help with homework, listen to them talk about their days, etc.?
   • How much companionship do you want your child to have? Even if you can’t devote undivided parental attention to a child, having many siblings means your children will always have playmates to keep them occupied and to help each other through the trying emotional times when they don’t always turn to their parents.
   • Remember that with your third child, you are officially outnumbered. With two children, one parent can manage each in a given situation, but with three children, there’s a spare child running loose!
3. Consider whether you want to be a working or a stay-at-home parent. Though traditional gender roles see a man in the workplace and a woman raising the children at home, these days, both men and women should feel equally comfortable in either role.
   
   • Childcare for children whose parents work can be so expensive, depending on where you live, that it may not be worth the income from your job.^[12]
   • Would be comfortable with other people spending that much time raising your children, regardless of how much you trust them?
   • Do you want to be present for all of your child’s developmental milestones, and would working in an office get in the way of that?
   • Would staying at home with your child all day make you feel claustrophobic, or like you’re being defined solely by your identity as a parent?
   • Would staying at home keep you from the passions and interests you get to explore every day at a job you love?
4. Ask yourself what kind of a parent you want to be. Despite what a legion of parenting books would have you think, there’s no right or wrong way to be a parent. After all, people raised children for centuries without guidebooks. It is important, though, to think about what kind of parent you want to be to be as happy as possible.
   
   • Look into different parenting styles to learn how you want to raise your family.^[13]
   • Do you want to be a hands-on parent who walks their children through all of their decisions and activities, or do you want to be a more laissez-faire parent who lets their children make and learn from their own mistakes?
   • How involved do you want to be in their education? Will you check homework every night? Assign extra homework outside of class? Or let more qualified teachers handle their education?
   • How do you want to reprimand your children when they make mistakes? Would you feel more comfortable in a good cop or bad cop role? Another way to think of it might be, “Do you want to be more of a coach who helps make good decisions or a referee who identifies and punishes mistakes?”
   • Do you put your children first before all others, or does your marriage take priority? What about your personal happiness?

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[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/jasonnazar/2013/09/05/35-questions-that-will-change-your-life/
2. ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858
3. ↑ https://www.iseek.org/mymncareers/advance-career/your-interests.html
4. ↑ https://www.payscale.com/research/US/Country=United_States/Salary
5. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2012/11/06/why-you-resist-career-change-so-fiercely/
6. ↑ https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/love-and-dating-what-you-need
7. ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/finding-good-match-know-want-need-relationship/
8. ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02parkerpope.html?_r=0
9. ↑ https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14549/8-things-to-figure-out-before-you-can-find-true-love.html
10. ↑ https://money.cnn.com/2014/08/18/pf/child-cost/
11. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/motherhood-rescheduled/201310/not-sure-if-you-want-kids-0
12. ↑ https://money.usnews.com/money/personal-finance/articles/2013/04/29/the-financial-benefits-of-a-stay-at-home-parent
13. ↑ https://www.parentingscience.com/parenting-styles.html

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