Armed forces have a duty to serve the country and they are prepared to deploy at a moment’s notice, which can be difficult when you’re dating someone in the military. These months away from one another will test the strength of your relationship. It definitely won’t be easy, but by following a few simple steps, you can maintain and even strengthen your relationship during the deployment. Read on to learn how.
Steps
- Before the deployment, discuss the situation with one another. Talk about where your relationship currently stands and what expectations you have of one another. Will you remain in a committed relationship, or will you date others while he or she is away? Will you expect to pick up where you left off after the deployment, or will you make the call based on how you feel then? Having a frank conversation will establish guidelines for the deployment and help you feel confident in your relationship. It's absolutely crucial to be honest with one another, as this will be a trying time for both of you and could be more painful if you aren't equally committed to the relationship.
- Make sure to spend as much time together as possible now, of course, taking lots of pictures to reminisce later!
- Plan your methods of communication. You and your loved one will need to figure out the best way to keep in touch over the long distance and different time zones. Take advantage of the various options of internet communication, and plan to use several different methods to stay in touch. Email is often easiest but can feel impersonal. Use Skype or another videochatting service as a great way to see each other's smiling faces, but timing Skype dates can be difficult, given time differences and the demands of your schedules. Discuss what tools you will use to stay in touch and how often you will communicate.
- Communicate often throughout the deployment. It will be difficult to feel as though you are still involved in each others' lives when you're living so far apart and doing such different things every day, but communicating often, even in small ways, can help reduce this distance. For example, although you may not have done anything overly exciting at work today, send your significant other a quick email about a movie you watched recently to help him know about what you've been doing and thinking about lately. He will enjoy hearing about these moments, just as you will when he messages you that he’s won a game night or had a great conversation with a friend.
- Stay in touch with your significant other's family and friends. These folks will help you feel connected to him even while he’s thousands of miles from home. Stay in touch through email, and meet every so often for dinner or drinks. Of course conversation will involve your significant other, so you’ll learn more about him through his social network; you may even have the opportunity to see some of his embarrassing childhood photos! When he comes home, he’ll be pleased you’ve started a relationship with his family and friends.
- Use snail mail to stay in touch. Taking the time out of your busy schedule to wax poetic may take some getting used to, but it’s a great way to learn more about each other in a very romantic way. Ask your significant other for his address, commonly known as an APO (Army Post Office) in the US, before he deploys. Mail time may lag due to holidays, so send your message with plenty of notice. You may need to practice your cursive, but he’s sure to feel like a million bucks when he receives your special note - just as you will when you get his reply.
- Letters sent overseas for military men and women cost the same as if you were sending them domestically in the US, but make sure you address them properly and include any necessary customs forms with your packages.[1]
- Send your significant other a care package with gifts and other goodies. This is like Christmas but more frequent! Send packages for holidays as well as at unexpected times just to let him know that you're thinking of him. Send him books, cards, or baked goods, as well as any sentimental objects that he will treasure, like the ticket stub from your first movie. His friends on the base will also appreciate any cookies or other baked goods you send. Try to keep your package a secret so it will be a surprise when he does get it. And don’t forget, packages are sent through US Mail, so the prices should not be astronomical, no matter where he is stationed overseas - but make sure to double check the address and any other mailing requirements before you send.
- Enjoy the extra time you have to spend on yourself. Have you made to-do lists of things that you’d like to accomplish if you had some extra time on your hands, like taking a yoga class or visiting college friends? Now is your chance to be selfish and independent and do things that interest you. Take this opportunity to join a gym, start blogging, find a charity to volunteer with on weekends, or go on mini-vacations with friends. Do things that will make you a better person and you’ll be thanking yourself in the end. So will your boyfriend. He’ll be so proud of you for staying busy and doing things that you love, rather than sitting at home waiting for him to return.
Tips
- Make it fun and make this time about YOU!
- The time goes by faster the busier you keep yourself.
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Sources and Citations
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via Peter
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