Pet & Animal: How to Know if Your Ex Misses You

The relationship ended, but that doesn't mean that you and your ex are automatically ready to let go of each other. You might miss your ex and find yourself wondering if things are the same for him or her, or maybe you have no lingering feelings but wonder what your ex's strange reactions mean. Either way, if you suspect that your ex may miss you, there are a few clues you can use to confirm or reject your suspicions.

Steps

Pay Attention to Your Interactions

Note any awkward phone calls. If your ex still misses you, expect to receive a lot of phone calls and text messages at random. Usually, he or she will do this under the pretense of checking in on you, but a clever ex may hide his or her feelings by coming up with a good excuse for contacting you.
- Be especially ready for drunk dials. Incomprehensible text messages and rambling voice mails made late at night are usually signs of drunkenness. If your ex were no longer missing you, would would not be on his or her mind in the midst of a drunken stupor.
- Gauge how often your ex calls and how long after the relationship it lasts. If an ex calls you shortly after the break-up, it could merely be out of habit. Alternatively, a late night call could also be a sign that your ex is interested in a one-night fling and nothing more. In other words, he or she might miss you physically, but not in any deeper way.
- If the calls continue for several months, though, and if he or she shows an interest in your daily life, it could be a sign of some lingering feelings.
- Put your ex to the test. When he or she calls, talk for a few minutes before saying you have to run. Give your ex a time to call back when you know you can talk. If your ex calls you back punctually, he or she might actually miss you and not just your body.^[1]

Monitor your ex's overall attitude toward you. If your ex seems warm and affectionate whenever you run into each other—even more so than when the two of you were going out—there might be some lingering feelings there. This is even more likely to be the case if your ex pays special attention to you whenever you do run into each other.
- Closely observe your ex's body language. Are you greeted with enthusiasm and a beaming smile? Does your ex make sad puppy dog eyes when you say goodbye? Body language sometimes says more than verbal language does. If your ex acts as though his or her world is complete only when you are around, you are probably very missed when you are not around.

Touch on the topic of touch. When you are in the presence of your ex, pay attention to any forms of physical contact he or she initiates, even if that contact seems innocent or casual. People who are trying to attract someone for the first time often find excuses to touch their target. The same applies when someone is trying to encourage a past attraction to blossom again.
- An ex who initiates a big hug or whose hand lingers after an embrace is clearly still attracted to you. If your ex touches you with a soft graze and looks for any acceptable excuse to touch you, your ex probably misses the intimacy you shared before.^[2]

Figure out if your ex is stuck in the past. If your ex brings up “the good ol' days” when you were both together, it could be a sign that he or she wants to return to those days.
- Ask yourself if your ex is trying to sort out old feelings. If your ex continually talks about how he or she felt during your relationship or questions what went wrong, your ex might be seriously pining away for you still.
- Note that your ex will almost always remind you of the good times while conveniently leaving out the arguments and issues your relationship had.

Find out how much your ex already knows. If it has been several weeks, months, or years since your break-up, a lot has probably happened in your life that your ex had no part in. During the course of your conversation, see how many of these life events your ex is aware of before being told. If your ex knows a great deal about what you've been up to, chances are, he or she has been following your life closely via social media or other sources, which is a pretty good indication that your ex is still hung up on you.
- On a similar note, pay attention to how much your ex suddenly remembers. If your ex never remembered your birthday or anniversary when you were dating, yet you suddenly receive a “Happy Birthday” text on the day of, you can be sure that your ex is trying to show you that he or she has changed for the better and is hoping to convey that things will be different if you give it another try.

Watch out for claims of change. Your relationship ended for a reason. If your ex really wants you back, he or she might start telling you about all the positive ways his or her personality has changed.
- For instance, if your ex was a very impatient person, he or she might start telling stories about how patient he or she has become.

See how fast your ex responds. As long as you and your ex are part of the same social circle, you will likely end up attending the same events, and you may even end up inviting each other out to hang with the group from time to time. If your ex is consistently the first person to respond with an affirmative answer when you send out a group invitation, he or she might just be in constant “stand by” mode, continually ready to tag along whenever you call.
- Watch out if your ex offers you a shoulder to cry on when things get tough. Your ex might be trying to show you how sympathetic and comforting he or she could be in the hopes of getting back together with you.
- Also pay attention to how closely your ex monitors your social media activities. Frequent “likes,” “reposts,” and “retweets” are a good sign that you still take up a vast amount of space in his or her mind.

Beware of the green-eyed monster. People get jealous when the guy or gal they like shows a romantic interest in someone else. If your ex misses you, he or she will show obvious signs of jealousy whenever you give special attention to or flirt with someone else.
- These signs of jealousy could be major or minor. A major sign is if your ex openly criticizes a new person you date or flies into a rage when you flirt in front of him or her.^[3] A less obvious sign is if your ex simply looks annoyed when someone cute happens to pay you a little extra attention.

Know when a coincidence isn't a coincidence. After your break-up, you might notice that you run into your ex—a lot. There are some instances when a coincidence really might be a coincidence, but if you run into each other a lot, there might be something more behind it.
- If you work in the same building and run into each other in the hallway, it probably is a coincidence. Similarly, if you both love the same coffee place and run into each other there in the morning, it might be a coincidence. But if your ex starts showing up in places you would never expect, like a restaurant he or she hated, your ex might be going there in the hopes of seeing you.

Wait for a direct confession. This might be an obvious one, but it is still worth mentioning. If your ex misses you so much that it hurts, he or she may eventually break down and come right out and say it. If you give it time, you might actually hear your ex say the words, “I miss you.”

Investigate How Things Are without You Around

Go to the right sources. If you are no longer in contact with your ex or otherwise want to do some additional investigation, make use of third party sources to do your snooping. Social media websites are a great place to start, or you could take the more traditional route and ask his friends for updates.
- Ideally, you should first go to mutual friends when checking in on your ex. These people are more likely to be honest with you about what they see, but people who are specifically his friends may hide information for the sake of your ex's pride.

Pay attention to subtle and not-so-subtle social media updates. Oftentimes, your ex may use Facebook, Twitter, or other social media accounts as a way of passively-aggressively saying how much you are missed. If most of your ex's updates are sad, he or she is probably mourning the end of your relationship and may even miss you.
- Look for status updates like, "My life is so empty now" or "Thinking about happier times..."
- Also pay attention to other content your ex posts. Links to "your song" or check-ins at your old hang-outs are a pretty clear sign that you're still on your ex's mind.
- Long, reflective posts or notes about everything your ex has done wrong are usually written with you in mind, and your ex might be hoping for you to read them and see how he or she has "changed" for the better.^[4]

Find out if your ex is dating again. An ex typically reacts in one of two ways if he or she misses you: your ex may immediately get into a rebound relationship, or else, your ex may show no interest in dating anyone else for a long time.
- If your ex immediately jumps into a new relationship, it might be to soothe his or her own heartbreak or to make you feel hurt. Rebound relationships tend to end quickly, though, and your ex probably will not seem very happy in the relationship itself.^[5]
- An ex who does not go on a single date for months or years after your break-up may have fallen apart after you let go, which is a pretty big clue that he or she has not yet moved on.
- You may also find out that your ex has gone out on a date but did not want you to find out about it. In this case, your ex may still have feelings for you and does not want to risk convincing you otherwise.

Wait to hear the news. If your ex misses you but the two of you are not in contact with each other anymore, you can expect to hear about how much your ex misses you from his or her friends. This is especially true if the two of you share a mutual friend or two.

Ask yourself how often you hear tales about your ex. Your ex may find ways of indirectly bragging about how great he or she has become since you broke up. You may not hear about these great attributes from your ex directly, but if his or her friends frequently bring them up whenever you're around, they might be doing so in the hopes that you will miss your ex as much as they know your ex misses you.
- This is especially significant if your ex is acting out in ways that were once uncommon for him or her. For instance, if your ex was quiet and laid back but has suddenly become a party animal and a social butterfly, the outrageous behavior might be an excuse to grab your attention again.

Find out how often he or she contacts your friends and family. You may or may not be in touch with your ex, but even if you aren't, an ex who finds a way to be involved in your personal life by being involved with your loved ones might just be trying to find a way to still stay in your life. If this is the case, this desperation is likely a result of missing you so much.
- If your ex was close to your loved ones during your relationship, he or she might just be continuing the bond formed during that time. If he or she barely cared for your family and friends before, though, a sudden interest in them is a good sign that you're the one your ex is after.

Look for a current picture. Take a good look at your ex's looks. If he or she has really let go since your break-up, odds are, the end of your relationship triggered the change. Your ex may have sunken into a sort of depression, and that depression is probably an indication that your ex misses you and is still grieving the loss of your relationship.

Watch out for addictions. If your ex misses you to an unhealthy, crippling degree, he or she might look for distractions from the pain. This sort of pain is usually what drives people to abuse alcohol or drugs, and if you hear through the grapevine that your ex has a new substance abuse problem that did not exist during your relationship, your break-up might be partially to blame.