Pet & Animal: How to Console Someone Who Had a Miscarriage

Thursday, 4 September 2014

How to Console Someone Who Had a Miscarriage

More than one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage. The fact that you know someone that had a miscarriage does not necessarily mean that there is anything medically wrong with either them or their partner and does not mean they cannot have children in the future. A huge majority of women who have had a miscarriage go on to have successful, healthy pregnancies and babies.

Steps

Know that someone who has just recently had a miscarriage is going to need all the help and support that you can give. In the first four weeks after the miscarriage they will feel like their world has come to an end. It is important to comfort them and let them know that you are there for them whenever they need it. The best way to help them is by researching and having the facts so if they have any questions you can help them with some answers before they talk to a professional.
- The main thing to understand and let them know is that miscarriage is very common in the world and it can happen on your first pregnancy or your fifth there are no set times when it happens. The other big thing to remember is that if you have had a miscarriage that there is nothing to stop you getting pregnant again and having a successful pregnancy.
- A person that has just had a miscarriage is going through one of the worst feelings in the world, they have just lost their child. Women need a lot of help and support in times of miscarriage but it is also a very tough time for the partner of the woman who has had the miscarriage.
- Although the partner was not carrying the child he would still have been planning in his mind different things about his child which have now been taken away for no reason at all. Couples will go through the different stages at different times and both the woman and the man need to realist that their partner will be in different places. Some days will be good and some days will be bad but both need to understand that they are both suffering the loss of a child.

Know that, in the first 4 or so weeks there will be a lot of friends and family around. After 4 weeks a lot of people are back getting on with their own lives. This is the period when your friend needs you the most. They won't be getting many people contacting them on a regular basis so it is up to you to contact them and let them know you are there for them.
- They might not answer your calls, your texts or social media messages but still send messages to just let them know that your thinking of them. Call around to see them.
- Women going through a miscarriage may not see the point in getting out of bed or doing things they used to do. It is up to you to just call around and just keep them doing a few little things like getting up out of bed in the morning and getting dressed. Getting up out of bed and getting dressed won't seem like much but it will help them in the long run and help them from falling into a state of depression.
- Some friends won't make any contact with the person and this is mainly due to the fact they believe they don't know what to say. There is nothing to say but just let them know you're there for them and even tell them that you can't imagine what they're going through but that you are there for them and you will help them as best you can. Being there for someone is much better than ignoring them in their time of need.

Know that, the next few months things are going to be very difficult for people affected by miscarriage and the date the miscarriage happened is going to be a very bad day every month on that date for a long period of time. Continue keeping regular contact with your friend and checking in on them and just let them know that you are there for them.
- Even if you were not extremely close before it happened that does not mean that you can't become very close friends after it. Your support will mean a lot. Don't expect them to just get over it and carry on as if nothing happened because no matter what time in their lives it happened at they may never be able to get over it and carry on as normal.
- A few women and men will feel that they have accepted what happened in a short space of time and will think they can get back to where they were before it happened. This can be a false belief and is there way of trying to forget about it, in times like these your support is needed more than ever because they will explode one day and you need to be there for them when they explode.

Carefully consider whether or not to commemorate a one year anniversary. It could be that they want to do nothing and just be alone, they might want to acknowledge it with a few close family and friends or they may want to mark it in a big way. No matter what, you can be there for them offering support. Remember they will have good days and they will have bad days but with family and friends around to support them they will get through it.