Teeth out, fins up, that’s the way we like to f*ck.
Thinkstock
1. First thing's first, I'm the sharkiest!
2. I'm sooooo sharky, you already know!
3. It's SHARK WEEK YAAASS.
4. Too bad we don't get the Discovery Channel in the Pacific Ocean.
5. But I feel like I should be extra sharky this week. What should I do first?
6. Oh, maybe I'll go hunting for a seal. I haven't had seal in a while.
7. I've been on an all-tuna diet. Got to have that lean protein!
8. After all, it is summer, and I need to rock that #BikiniBody.
9. Oh, look, there's a seal! But it looks like it's pretty small. Go big or go home.
10. Wait, just kidding. It's just a piece of kelp.
11. I'm a shark, I don't eat any kelp.
12. I'm a mean, lean, killing machine. I'll leave the kelp to the crabs.
13. Haha, look at that little crab eating kelp. He's so tiny.
14. Do you even lift, bro? EAT SOME MEAT.
15. Oh look, there is one of my sharky friends. Let me stop to chat.
16. Oh wait, better not because I ALWAYS NEED TO SWIM.
17. Like, I swim while I eat. I swim while I pee. I swim while I sleep.
Discovery
18. Michael Phelps doesn't have NOTHING on me.
19. Hmmm, I wonder if they let sharks in the Olympics. I totally would win all the swimming events.
20. But I am NOT swimming backstroke. I don't want to get water up my nose.
21. I probably would win like, 20 gold medals.
22. Seriously, I would look great on a Wheaties box.
23. OK wait now I'm really hungry. But I smell blood...
24. I'm so #blessed to have such an amazing sense of smell. IDK what I would do without it!
25. Alright, let's do this...
26. 300 razor-sharp teeth, 20 feet and 5,000 pounds of lean, mean, killing machinery...
27. Duhn duhn. Duhn duhn. Duhn duhn...
28. AIR JAWS FOR THE WIN!!!
29. Mmmmmm, let me swing this seal back and forth for ~dramatic effect.~ JK, I need to serrate into the flesh with my sharp teeth.
30. That seal didn't stand a chance, he didn't see me coming! To be fair, neither did I, since my eyes always roll back when I'm hunting. I'm ~talented~ like that.
31. Gosh, I love being a great white shark. I'm like the Beyoncé of sharks.
32. And the mako shark can be the Kelly since it's so fast, and the bull shark can be Michelle.
33. Like, call me Sharkyoncé.
34. AKA Sharky Fierce.
from BuzzFeed - Animals http://ift.tt/Yb2kYp
Created by Peter
No comments:
Post a Comment