Figure out if a guy likes you if he gives you a one-armed hug
A guy goes in for a hug…and he one-arms it. You’re left feeling a little confused about his intention: what does a side hug mean from a guy? Does it mean he likes you only as a friend, or could he have romantic feelings? There are lots of different ways to interpret a side hug from a guy, and we'll explain them all, plus dive into the many signs a hug might just be romantic in nature.
[Edit]Things You Should Know
- A side hug from a guy could mean he just wants to be respectful—if he’s not sure how you’d feel about a full embrace, he might play it safe and hug you with one arm.
- A guy might side-hug you if he likes you as a friend and doesn’t want to lead you on by full-hugging you—or he could be into you and just be too nervous to show it.
- It’s very possible the side hug has no deeper meaning than he's glad to see you! He may not be thinking about it too hard.
[Edit]Steps
[Edit]Side Hug Meanings
- He likes you as a friend. Sometimes a guy will give a side hug instead of a full hug because he doesn’t want to mislead you. If he’s already got a significant other or just doesn’t see you as more than a good pal, he might offer a side hug to show he cares about you, but doesn’t want to cross any lines or send mixed messages.[1]
- If he’s got a significant other, he may also worry that a full hug would make them uncomfortable.
- He’s nervous. While a side hug may indicate a lack of romantic interest, it’s also possible a guy would offer a one-armed hug because he’s interested—and is feeling self-conscious. He may worry that a full hug will reveal his feelings and he might not be ready for that.
- If he blushes, stumbles over his speech, or doesn’t make eye contact with you, this may also indicate he’s nervous around you.[2]
- He’s trying to be respectful. Lots of people will offer side hugs as a way to show they care about you and are glad to see you, but they don’t want to cross any lines or make you uncomfortable. Whether this guy likes you romantically or platonically, he may offer a side hug because he’s not sure if you’re comfortable with a front hug.
- This may be more likely to be the case in certain areas, like the Southern United States. “Southern politeness” may encourage him to maintain some physical distance. Consider where this guy’s from and what values he’s bringing into your interaction: they may influence how he approaches hugging.
- He’s not super comfortable with physical affection. If he was raised in an environment where people didn’t really express affection through physical touch, he might just not be used to it.[3] It’s possible that physical contact just isn’t that important to him, or he may be uncomfortable touching and being touched.
- He wants to avoid becoming aroused. Biology 101: sometimes, a guy might avoid giving a full hug because, well, he’s worried he might get turned on. (Or he’s already turned on and doesn’t want you to notice.)
- Keep in mind that many men can't control arousal, but they can control what they do about it; thus, the side hug.[4]
- He’s uncomfortable with a full hug in public. If this guy side-hugs you in public or around other people, it’s very possible he likes you but doesn’t feel comfortable showing physical affection in front of others. If he seems more affectionate in one-on-one scenarios, it’s likely he’s just not super into PDA.
- He may also be aware that certain audiences might be uncomfortable witnessing PDA. For instance, he may be more likely to front-hug you in front of, say, his friends than his parents.
- He can’t give a full hug at the moment. Sometimes it’s a matter of logistics! A side hug might be all he can really offer at the moment. If you’re sitting next to him, he might opt to side-hug rather than make you both stand up for a full embrace. If you walk up to him while he’s talking to someone else or otherwise momentarily distracted, he might greet you with a side hug instead of a full hug.
[Edit]Signs His Hug May Be Romantic
- He holds you tightly. If he gives you a tight squeeze, it’s possible he’s got a lot of affection for you. It could be platonic or romantic affection, but either way, it’s likely he’s more than indifferent to you.[5]
- On the other hand, if his hug is loose or limp, it implies neutral feelings towards you. That being said, don’t mistake a gentle hug for a limp hug—if he hugs you softly, he may want to express tenderness, whether romantic or platonic.[6]
- There’s little to no space between your bodies. A front hug with miles of space between your bodies (sometimes called a “church hug”) is way less romantic than a side hug with zero space between your bodies. If he embraces you, whether from the front or the side, but leaves no room in between your bodies, you can tell he likes you and cares about you.[7]
- His posture is relaxed, not stiff or rigid. If his body language is open and warm, it’s possible he likes you. On the other hand, if he stiffens up when he embraces you, it’s likely the hug is just perfunctory and polite.[8]
- It’s possible his posture is stiff because he’s nervous—likewise, he could be glad to hug you without carrying a torch for you. Body language isn’t an exact science, unfortunately!
- He puts his hands on your lower back or waist. A shoulder hug is often platonic, as it’s generally viewed as a more emotionally neutral place to touch someone, so the lower his hands go on your body, the more likely it is that he’s into you. If his hand rests on your lower back, waist, or even your butt, you can be fairly confident his hug is romantic![9]
- The hug lasts a long time. A short hug likely indicates politeness and emotional distance. On the other hand, a long embrace may suggest deeper feelings. The “ideal hug,” researchers have found, lasts between 5 and 10 seconds—this is what’s needed to establish an emotional connection.[10] If this guy’s hug is shorter than that, it’s likely he’s just hugging out of politeness or respectful friendliness.
- Time is relative: people are more likely to give longer hugs when greeting someone or saying goodbye, so if he gives you a short hug unexpectedly, like in the middle of a hangout, it may be more significant than a longer hug upon saying goodbye.[11]
[Edit]References
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
- ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-27751-008
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19199141/
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201603/7-basic-rules-hugging
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-asymmetric-brain/202206/10-things-make-hug-great
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.2466/02.17.21.CP.1.13
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